I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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