And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
