I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
