You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
