I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
