Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
