worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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