His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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