I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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