The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We left the knife in your bed.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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