Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
