so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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