To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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