are you still at the devil's house?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
