small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
whose parrot is this?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
