Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My ass is underappreciated
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
