Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
