Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
