That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
There are leaves in my underwear?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
