I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Randomize
