'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
