If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
