Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
