is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
