So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
