my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
