the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
