Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's blow job season.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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