Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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