My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
