I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
