She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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