margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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