All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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