I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize
