Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
