4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
