It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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