just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i believe in u and ur pee
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