Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
