Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
