Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
