Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
the liver wants what the liver wants
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
