I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
