I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
