drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
