Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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