Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
