My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
