New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
