I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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